No, We Don’t All Need Therapy (But Here’s How to Tell if You Might)

If you’ve listened to a podcast or watched TV lately, you’ve heard the advertisements for companies like Talkspace and BetterHelp, companies that offer a subscription model for access to mental health therapists. 

You’ll notice that the advertisements are often general and vague. They’ll mention what a tough year it’s been or reference the mental health challenges brought on by the pandemic. They suggest that because you are a human alive during ____ (Covid/climate change/racial reckoning), you probably need to see a therapist.  

You may have heard one of these advertisements and thought to yourself, ‘I thought I was fine, but what if I’m not? Am I doing this wrong? Do I need therapy?’

The advertisements from Talkspace and BetterHelp are not unique. Today’s common wisdom, summed up by authors and influencers on a variety of platforms, is that therapy is important self-care and can benefit everyone. 

I support the movement to make therapy more affordable and accessible. 

I believe that if you have been considering therapy for awhile, you may want to give it a try.

I think we should do all we can to reduce the stigma surrounding seeking therapy.

AND

It’s important to consider potential conflicting incentives. Platforms like Talkspace and BetterHelp make money by scaling their business, so of course they want as many people as possible to subscribe to their platform. The same is true for private therapy practices such as my own. While advertising our services and working to reduce mental health stigma, we need to be careful to not over-sell the potential benefits of therapy and under-sell the potential risks. 

Therapy is not easy. It requires an investment of time, emotional energy and money. Therapy sessions involve using your attention and focus, and usually involve a willingness to experience discomfort. While validation and support is an aspect of therapy, it’s much more than that. Therapy usually involves trying out new ways of thinking and acting, which can feel uncomfortable. People should not be pressured into spending their limited resources for something that may not be necessary or helpful. (Quality) therapy is not easy and personal growth requires a level of discomfort. 

Therapy is NOT the only way to heal after a stressful event.

It’s likely that at some point in your life you’ve experienced or will experience something that could be considered a traumatic event. Going through a traumatic experience is not in itself a reason to seek therapy (i.e., experiencing a nationwide shutdown and pandemic). Many people use their own coping strategies to manage the impact of a trauma. Common healthy coping strategies are emotional support from trusted people, exercise, dancing, journaling, religious practices and/or meditation. 

So, how can you tell if therapy may or may not be for you? 

You may not need or benefit from therapy if:

-You are managing your day to day life well the majority of the time. 

-You experience unpleasant emotions but they are less than half of the days out of a week. -You can make and maintain healthy connections with others. 

-Thoughts or feelings about your traumas do not keep you from doing the things you want to do.

-You are able to do things that are important and meaningful to you (make art, volunteer, spend time with family, make new friends).

You may need or benefit from therapy if:

-Trauma memories or reactions frequently impact your day-to-day life 

- You have goals you want to accomplish, but something keeps you from doing those things.

-You find it difficult to connect with others.

-You frequently get into conflict with those close to you.

-Day-to-day tasks (chores, work, sleeping) are difficult. 

-You have tried other ways of dealing with things, (exercise, talking with friends, meditation) but it isn’t working well enough and you continue to struggle. 

Interested in finding out more about starting therapy?

The first step is to find out if you have any coverage for services through your insurance. You can ask about Employee Assistance Program benefits as well as coverage for outpatient mental health services. You can also request a referral through your primary care provider. 

If you can’t find a therapist who takes your insurance and you have concerns about paying for therapy, I recommend Advekit and Reimbursify for tools on navigating Out of Network benefits.

Local colleges and community centers may offer free or sliding-scale therapy. You can find other lower-fee therapists online at the Open Path Collective. 

Check out my article for more suggestions on How to Find the Right Therapist. 

Once you’re ready to look, I recommend these online directories for lists of therapists in your area:

TherapyDen

MentalHealth Match

Monarch

Therapy is an investment of time, energy and resources. It can be helpful and transformative, and it is not always necessary or beneficial. 

While this article can serve as a starting point, each person’s situation is unique. 

Still curious? Check out these quick, brief screenings for anxiety, PTSD and depression to see if your experience is average or if treatment may be recommended. It is best to speak with a doctor or mental health provider directly for recommendations specific to your situation.